Learning to be a Woman Incidents 2- #metoo

 

 For a thirteen year old, I was a big girl. Anyone on the street could think I was a young adult, only realizing that I was a kid if they stared at my child-like face. Growing up with my much older siblings had given me a certain maturity that got accentuated with my woman’s body. I started to experience funny mix ups, where people looked at me and thought I was the elder daughter of the family. Of course, this didn’t make me happy, but, that was how things rolled when one was my size as a teenager. On the other hand, it was great to be the tallest in the class. It was fun to catch up quickly with the older children around.

During those teenage  years of mine, my sister ran a business in data collection. She used to assign small tasks to me so that I could make some pocket money. It was great to be able to afford some small things and save up for some treats. One of those times, my sister asked me to run a small errand for her. Normally, going and picking up something from an office didn’t intimidate me, but this time she wanted me to travel outside my area to do so. She really didn’t have any other solution. 

Doing her errand meant that I would need to travel by bus to the station, catch a train to the suburb five stations away, then take another bus, visit the office, do my work and make my way back. She convinced me that she thought it would be a good learning experience for me. All I needed to do was to be careful to enter the ladies compartment of the train and then get off at the right station. I knew our train station well enough and knew where to go to buy my return ticket. 

The difficulty of travelling in Mumbai is that the buses are always packed. The train stations and roads around them are mostly bustling with vendors moving around with their wares, people waking in all directions and traffic engorging the streets. So navigating all these obstacles was my first mission. When I finally reached the railway station, I somehow managed to get my ticket, ask where the train going to Andheri was expected to arrive and make it to the railway platform. 

Luckily, the train was quite empty and I reached Andheri without any difficulty. I had to now figure out where the bus stop was situated to my destination address. Once I had that information, I found myself on the bus seated near a window. In a few minutes, I had someone sit next to me. I was busy looking outside the window, so proud of myself that I was just busy reveling in that. Needless to say that the arm moving and trying to touch my breast was quite a startle. I was trying to figure out what was happening, why this man who was wearing such a nice shirt and tie was touching me. First, I tried to move even further near the window. But I realized that this was not going to change anything because he moved in closer to me. 

I was hit with a truckload of  feelings of anger, shame, helplessness and incomprehension. I didn’t know what would happen if I said anything or if I screamed. I had grown up with two elder brothers and an elder sister. My mother was a very strong willed woman too. I knew that they would be upset if I didn’t speak up. All the same, I tried to project if the situation would get out of hand and if I would have to physically hit this person. I just felt the bile rise in my throat more and more. This man couldn’t do this to me. I would feel horrible if I went home feeling violated and having not done anything to stop it. I remembered an incident where my sister had been groped on the street in front of me and she ran after the man screaming and hitting. She had done that to give me strength for right now. 

I still don’t know where the voice of this mature woman came out from me and I said, “Move your arm!” loudly. There was a sudden shock in the energy I felt just before and the man seemed to take away his arm and still stare ahead. This time around, I turned my face towards him, forcing him to look at me. I stared him in the eyes and said with a  very angry and severe tone, “Keep your hands away from me”. I said it again in Hindi and made sure to get an eye contact from anyone in the bus who was looking forwards me. The man’s demeanor changed completely and he slid to the outer corner of the seat. He stayed there till I had to get off the bus. Ferociously on the outside and weak and trembling in the inside, I ordered him to move out of my way so that I could get to the passage way. I kept looking at him with disgust till I got off the bus. He didn’t look up at all. 

I got off the bus, a changed human being. I was now learning that this would also be something I had to learn to deal with. I was growing up fast.#metoo

This is an empowering #metoo story of survival and strength