Life in Belgium as a foreigner - No More Secrets!

When I shifted to Brussels, I was 24 years old. So, I thought I knew the ways of the world and had some work experience too. However, getting married to a Belgian man in India and living in India was surely different from the first few years of life in Belgium. Nothing could have prepared me for the culture shock that awaited me. He and his family were all native French speakers. I had never learnt French as a child or in school days. Even at university, there was French as an option, but I never thought that I would have any use of the language in my life.

Reaching here in Brussels, i realized that even though Brussels was an international city and a hub of Europe few people on the streets really spoke English. I had time on hand and within a few days, I joined a French class. It was a great way to meet new people and have a social life. It was nice to see that others like me had it hard with this new environment. That others like me, had to start again to make friends and learn the ways of life in a new country.

Looking back, youth definitely helped me. I didn’t find the process of learning this language difficult. I spoke English with my husband, so I practiced my French with his family whom we met on the weekends. I used to listen to what was being said, repeat their sentences and try and make sense of it. Body language is such a fantastic tool when you are learning a new language. So many things like encouragement, affirmation, approval or disapproval and impatience are displayed on the faces of those you interact with. Eyes shining up because they were surprised to see me try their language, a nod of the head showing that they were starting to understand me, a frown if there was a word that I hadn’t really pronounced well or a giggle because there had been a mix up in the sounds I had used were a very common occurrence. 

Very often, I would start on a topic when I met someone from the family and they would encourage me by being patient and entertaining my efforts. But, in Belgium or anywhere in the world, I notice that people speak for an average of ten minutes slowly and patiently in an informal setting. They then quickly start speaking at their normal pace of communication. When this happened, of course, I couldn’t keep up. Instead, I found myself having a debate in my head about what they had just said and what would be the correct word and correct order of words to choose to reply them. So, funnily in most cases I would talk about something that was already ‘old news’ to everyone else in the room by then. They would stare at me weirdly, their minds trying to make sense of what I had just managed to utter. They had no idea of the difficulty with which I had managed the feat. I could hear questions being asked and then, suddenly the person most in tune with me and my language skills would remember the subject from some minutes ago. 

As months passed and I completed more than one academic year in my French school, I started to notice progress. I would find myself being able to hear the ‘liasIons’ that link the words to each other in the language. I could actually remember difficult words and even form sentences that were different from just the basic ‘I’ and ‘me’ ones.

One day, I reached my in laws’ home where the entire family was gathered. As they all greeted me and everyone settled in, I declared loudly in French, « From today, there will be no more secrets ».

My father in law smiled and said, « Oh, what an intelligent girl she is » !

PS. I encourage everyone to continue to learn languages, it’s such a great way to understand another culture and really integrate into a new society. You understanding them well means there is a chance they understand you well.