In 1980
Dear Son,
It’s been 12 months since we have spoken. 12 months since I’ve seen your face. It’s a very long time for a mother, don’t you think? I’ve written to you once or twice every month since you left the house angry, all those months ago. Yes, what I said was harsh. No, I didn't mean to offend you to this point of no return. Your absence has been felt by everybody.
Your father & sister keep asking where you are? Why are you not even replying to their letters?
I’m now worried that something has happened to you. None of your friends from our town have any idea where you may be. I managed somehow to get this address from one of them but it seems like you aren’t there.
Please at least give us a sign that you are fine and that you’re not answering me on purpose.
All I want is to hear from you. This anger that you have can be thrown back at my face. I’m ready to hear it.
Your worried mother.
The postman who has now delivered the letter to the address that’s on the envelope wonders what to do with the letter as he looks at the previous letters and envelopes collecting on the top of the post box. The thought of tearing open and reading one of the envelopes that have the same handwriting crosses his mind. But he knows he can’t and walks away.
In 1980
Today I stand on this railway platform and I’m about to embark on a long journey. I’ve just had a huge fight with my mother. I spoke to her about the feelings I’d hidden away in my mind for so many years. She always thinks I’m a small child, doesn’t she know at 19, I’m a man now? I’ve always listened to her and the only time I’ve expressed my true feelings, this is how she reacts. All I saw in her face was anger and near loathing. Yes, when she saw I got up to leave, I noticed concerns, fear and some small degree of empathy. But that had come too late. I’ll just go to the ticket office and take the first train away from here.
A month later Harish receives his mother’s first letter by post. Some time ago he had written to his best friend Madhu about what had happened that fateful day at home. Harish had believed that Madhu wouldn’t betray his trust but guesses his family got to Madhu’s kinder side and prised the postal address out from him.
Harish reads the letter from his mother briefly. He’s afraid his mother or family will show up at the rental room. He packs the few things he has into his bag and leaves. He takes the opened letter with him.
A year or so later
Harish is lying in bed after a week of illness. He dreams about his mother. In this fragile state, he closes his eyes and remembers her at her kindest. She had skin that glistened in the Sun. Her odour was like talc. He remembers her feeding him the soup that he loved and being concerned about his health. Working to survive on his own this year had been hard on Harish. He doesn’t even have the energy to pick up a pen at the moment.
In 2020
Harish looks at his children’s photo in the frame next to his bed. He picks up the phone to look at the messages he hoped he would have received in the night. Lately, he found himself wanting to receive news from his children more than ever before. They were grown now and living their own lives. He thought he and his wife had brought them up well. It had been some months since his wife had passed away. He hadn’t noticed that his kids didn’t call to speak to him much when she’d been alive. They were constantly in touch with their mother. Or was it she who was constantly calling them? He wondered about it now. It was hard to understand why they didn’t call to ask about him.
He sees a new message in the inbox of his phone. His daughter has sent him a long message. He gulps hard as he reads the accusations. There were things he hadn’t done right apparently. His joy on having received her message now turned sour. He closes his eyes in fatigue. The first person he thinks of and sees while he reels from the message is his mother. He can see her face as clearly now as he did when he’d walked out of their home.
#strainedrelations #toxicrelations #motherandson
Like this story? You may like these fictions too...


