Ammini dreaded going to school as much as she loved the freedom to be away from home for those hours. Studying was generally hard for her. Except Malayalam and Geography all the other subjects were hard. She especially had a hard time with numbers and multiplication tables. As she and her siblings were the first generation to attend school, any reason could end her schooling. If the land needed tending to, if they needed a carer for someone at home, if any superstition chose you as a pawn in an older family member's head, you just didn't go to school. Ultimately, the money for the fees were saved and that was the biggest deciding factor in Ammini's life.
Knowing all this Ammini really tried her best to follow her classes and take time when she finished all her other duties at home to sit and study.
Some days she used the chalk and slate-board and wrote down the numbers, sometimes she played with stones and tried to count her way to understanding numbers. Sometimes, if she dared, she asked her older brother to help her understand something she couldn't. She had to make sure he wasn't too tired or there were no pressing matters he needed to tend to. He was also the man of the house, since they'd already lost their father.
Then one day unfortunately, everything ended abruptly for Ammini. She and Sati went to school as usual. Sati was running ahead in the beginning of their walk to school but by the end of the 3kms, Ammini was dragging her on. Usually when they entered the school ground, Ammini would drop Sati to her class for the 6-year-olds and then go to her own class for the 9-year-olds. Today, as they approached the gate, they were called by the assistant to the principal who was standing in front of his own office door.
Ammini didn't understand his instructions at first as neither she or her sister had ever even spoken to the man. They only spoke to their class teachers. Hesitantly, she walked towards him while still holding her sister's hand. She looked around to check whether any other students were in the courtyard and realised that they must be late. She was expecting a punishment. The man walked into his office after muttering something that sounded like "Come in here".
Ammini stood at the doorstep and didn't go in at first. The man was leaning against the desk in his room and looking at them. He asked them to come in again. This time with a sterner and controlled voice. Ammini gulped, expecting to be beaten and entered the room. Sati, unsure of what to do, hid behind her sister's back.
The man had a name plate on his desk. Ammini was looking at the first alphabet on the name plate and trying to remember which alphabet it was. Obviously scared, she couldn't remember any alphabet that seemed to make sense. She found herself sweating profusely and squeezing her jaw and her toes. Something was off, but she didn't know what. The man paced up and down in front of them, mentioning how they were constantly late and how they needed to be punished. As he walked towards the door in his room, he casually nudged it shut. The door had two halves that shut in the centre. Ammini's eyes had been following his movements. She noticed his shoulder casually hit the half door on the left and as he took a step ahead, he pushed the right-hand half door also shut. She took a step towards the door. Luckily, she noticed he hadn't locked the latch shut.
He turned and loomed over the tiny girls. He said that they should remove their waist cloths as a form of punishment. Sati started crying due to the man's behaviour and the nervousness she felt in her older sister. Ammini's hand that was holding hers had been squeezing Sati's hand more and more tightly. Ammini looked at the floor now. She was now scared, ashamed, trapped and also felt largely responsible for her sister. Sati's crying became audible as the man made an attempt to pull off Ammini's waist cloth. Her grasp on the waistcloth wouldn’t let it come off. Just then there was some noise outside and the man turned to look towards his office window, which he realised only now was open. That meant he could get caught if he wasn’t careful.
Even as he turned, Ammini kept one hand on her waist cloth and with the other she took a firm hold of Sati's hand. Not losing a moment she walked up to the main door and walked straight out the office. Then she quickened her pace and the two sisters ran all the way to their home.
When they reached home, she explained what had happened to one of her older sisters. Ammini looked at her older sister Thangam as Sati was being consoled by their mother. The women concluded that they would speak to the oldest son that evening and make a decision about what was to be done.
Later that evening, the family decided that that school was not a good school. They would send the girls to another school a bit further away. They would have to walk a bit more but that was nothing out of the ordinary.
No one spoke to the children about what had happened. No one said they would go to the school and demand an explanation. At least not in front of the children.
Ammini lay in bed that night and replayed the scene for some time in her head till sleep finally came. She'd already made up her mind and had decided that she'd not go to school ever again.
#triggerwarning #childmolestation #molestation #metoo #poverty #misuseofpower #thechroniclesoftheyoungestchild #knowingmymother #mymotherschildhood #lekhawritesbloggercontentwritercreator
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You may like these stories about my Amma too. Not all are sad :)
