Mother's Day family compilation- tribute 1 - Latha on Ammini Warrior

 

This is a special series on Mothers in my extended family to celebrate the upcoming Mother's Day.

This story is from my sister Latha Warrier as a reply to some questions I asked.

Amma was highly versatile, she could do just about anything. She could cook the most amazing food, stitch clothes and dolls from left-over pieces of cloth for her children - despite never having any  training in sewing, fix the leaking roof, not to mention trap and catch a mouse with just a piece of cloth in her hands. She was indeed by far the most amazingly fearless woman I ever knew. I did not ever see her frightened, no matter what the circumstances. I have seen her rescue a dazed sparrow that fell into our balcony, I have seen her clear out wasp nests many times and not bat an eyelid on all the occasions and there were many of them, when my younger baby brother would come home hurt and bleeding profusely from his antics.

There were times when she was heartless or at least that was what I thought. She'd scrub my scabies-induced wounds relentlessly, clean and tug my hair vigorously and discipline us without mercy. I'm sure she was doing the best she could given her own upbringing, health challenges and the fact that she had to raise us on a very tight budget. I don't think I could have done half as well as her as a mother of four and in the same circumstances.

There are times I wish she was still alive. She died at 63 when she was tragically still young but ailing. I was 31 then and not yet old enough to start thinking of my parents as individuals in their own right. I'd have loved to take both my parents on extensive travels, to show them my home, to have them meet and know my husband and to see what a fine woman they have shaped me into.  Sadly, this is not to be!

#mothersday #amma #motherslove #loveformymother #parentsdie #sadrealities

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Did you like the story?

You may like these I wrote about my Amma, our mother

Ammini Amma - Chapter 1 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

and 

Ammini Amma - Chapter 2 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

and 

Ammini Amma - Chapter 3 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

and 

Ammini Amma - Chapter 4 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

and 

Ammini Amma - Chapter 5 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

and 

Ammini Amma - Chapter 6 - The Chronicles of the Youngest Child

You can also read Latha's guest post on my blog here

Learning to say Goodbye- guest post- written by Latha Warrier, my sister

Awaken and vitalise your senses - Revi-sens.be - Cancer related help

 

Society likes its people to abide by its rules, comply with normality, and stay within what most consider a “conventional” setup. Anyone stepping outside these lines, whether because of sexual orientation or political views, often find themselves marginalised. This may happen even when people face problems as basic as a chronic illness, a divorce, or losing a job, one can quickly find oneself off the track that society knows how to handle. People we thought were close, even friends, can disappear very quickly in such situations. This kind of isolation can make a person who is already hurting feel even more lonely or stigmatised. Usually, however, the counter-effect of such situations and social abandonment is that small but powerful and innovative ideas are born, and sometimes these ideas can change lives for society at large.

To illustrate this, I want to introduce you to Nathalie Deldime. Nathalie is a cancer survivor who has created something that benefits many patients. At the same time, she faces the ongoing challenge of funding her idea. Nathalie has created a safe space where cancer patients and those supporting them daily can benefit from a range of wellness programmes and activities. Her association was founded on 1 May 2024 and offers physical, psychological, and social support through wellness services and activities that typically do not have medical insurance coverage. Whether it is through providing a massage or by an image coach helping one choose which colour suits them best during or after treatment, Revi-sens.be has one covered. Nathalie identifies various kinds of specialists and brings them on board to help patients and their ecosystems while living with cancer.

    

colorimetric sessions

products to buy to help the association

acknowledged by the Foundation against Cancer- a huge new step

Participants can buy a card for 10 activities at a cost of 50 euros. Each 5-euro that one spends on an activity is supplemented by the association Revi-Sens who raises funds as best as possible. Lately, this association has even been acknowledged by the Cancer Foundation and belongs to the Cancer Care Houses network.

I wondered where someone who has herself gone through such a difficult time finds her inspiration. As I listened to Nathalie, I pieced together the story of a strong, empathetic, generous, and enterprising woman who chose to take on such a demanding commitment.

Nathalie grew up at a time when few of her peers had divorced parents. Her parents separated when she was seven. Her mother, with whom she lived, later fell in love with an American, and at the age of 11 Nathalie moved to the United States. The relationship did not last, and Nathalie returned to Belgium to complete her high school education. At 16, she and her father grew close again, and today, even after his passing, she maintains a good relationship with his widow.

After university, Nathalie worked in customer service at Europ Assistance and later moved into the translation world and ended up by chance in the pharmaceutical industry, more precisely with UCB SA where she spent 20 years. After COVID, she lost her job and became a freelance differentiated communication professional in April 2022. She started a company called, “power 2bee”, which focuses on valuing the differences people bring to the workplace and treating this as positive rather than unsettling or out-of-the-box. While she was thriving and delivering Process Communication Model® courses in 2023, she received the first alert about her illness during a mammography.

Almost immediately, Nathalie realised that not enough support was provided by existing systems. The wait between the scan and the results lasted about a week, during which she had little support either at home or from medical services. The sudden shift from a normal life to the possibility of an invasive operation, without a clear path forward, was difficult. She noticed that life around her continued as usual, while she was expected to simply stay strong and carry on. Fortunately, she had a friend specialising in sophrology who helped prepare her for the operation. At the hospital, however, she felt judged by staff, as though she was not coping well enough with pain.

On 7 March 2023, she underwent surgery and was discharged the next day. Returning home, the emotional distance between her and her husband became more pronounced, as neither her pain nor her sadness seemed fully acknowledged. While recovering, she still had to function normally, even cooking for her child, as being sent home is often equated with being able to resume everyday life. She was given two weeks of rest and found herself unexpectedly content in solitude. Unfortunately, follow-up tests required a second operation three weeks later. The prolonged physical, psychological, and social strain eventually led to the end of her marriage.

As Nathalie navigated life in 2024 on her own, she realised that society tends to assume one is “cured” once the medical issue has been addressed. People who were present during the illness often stop showing up. They stop asking questions. Many relationships break under such strain. Nathalie describes this phase as the “solitude of the cured.”

Revi-sens.be was created largely for this period, though not exclusively. It is a care house designed to support patients and their loved ones. It helps people navigate loneliness, helplessness, and even suppressed anger. In French-speaking Belgium, such centres are limited to remote places like Chirec Hospital Delta in Brussels  or La vie là near Saint-Pierre Hospital in Ottignies, which are sometimes too far away and then the benefits of spending time with peers vanishes due to time-consuming and energy-intensive trips. Nathalie wanted to create something within her own region where nothing similar existed so far.

The association focuses on reducing distance, whether physical or relational, between people.

Relooking sessions

Nathalie now works full-time and has created a physical space in her home where services are offered. She dedicates the rest of her time to securing funding for her project. She collaborates with local businesses that contribute products, and with artists who donate their work to raise funds and awareness. In recent months, she has managed to secure 85 percent coverage for services through various donors and funding entities, amongst which the Cancer Foundation.

She also hosts workshops at her home in the Braine-le-Château region on a regular basis. The next activity is a walk around and about the heights of this lovely small city with foodie stops that will take place on Saturday June 13th, from 13.00 to 18.00. A nominal contribution will be, again, a way to raise money to fund more activities.

What Nathalie hopes is to help people find meaning in these distressing moments of their lives. She encourages others to volunteer their time if they feel moved by her project, and not to hesitate to ask questions, whether they wish to help or need support.

No one should feel alone during such a fragile period. Nathalie stands as living proof that one can rise after falling very low, and can find purpose while meeting remarkable people along the way.

You can contact Nathalie (who speaks English and Dutch perfectly too) on her email nathalie.deldime@gmail.com or through revi-sens.be 

Feel free to follow the FB page of the association below

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559511118946

#fightagainstcancer #aftercancer #duringcancer #cancersupport #fondationcontrelecancer

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Like this story? 

You can read these interesting stories on how my friend survived a near fatal accident and is now living a normal life.

Getting through hardships and shining in their aftermath - car accident - Mr Johan De Vits

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how this gentleman made his life about running after going through a bipass surgery.

If he can run -#YouTooCanRun - Mr. P. Venkatraman - Zipper Club coach and founder

My not yet complete practical list on how to learn to be your own best friend

 

1. Understand why you need to be your own best friend first.

No one knows you better than you. Your thoughts lead to your feelings which then lead to your actions. 

No one sees your thoughts, feelings and actions before you do.

No one judges you, suffers because of or feels good because of these thoughts, feelings and actions before you do. 

You carry the weight of the world you create on your shoulders.

You are able and capable of dealing with anything.

You don't need to depend on external factors to help you through your moods and your days.

2. Understand that you are a powerful being.

You're the first recipient of the energy you give out to the world. This energy is born inside you and is powerful. Be the first to receive this energy in the right frame of mind. If you nurture this energy like you would be if you were supporting a friend, everything that stems from it will be and do you good. Root for your good by treating your energy preciously.

3. Every thought can be used to your advantage, grab the chances that are constantly coming your way, because thoughts are constant.

 Sit down and relax and get your thoughts back to your inner being or your centre. Remember the 'Happy place' or 'Happy thought' that got you through your worst moments. We all have one or more that we can use. Enjoy this memory by reliving the images that flash through your mind. Remember the feeling of having overcome the previous problem in your past. You surely felt 'Relief' back then when that happened. Breathe in the relief you felt back then and relive the relief in your breath, your mind and in every inch of your body.

4. Build your bank balance of positive thoughts.

Think good thoughts and encouraging thoughts throughout your day. Maybe keep set times to do so. While you take a shower, while you smell your coffee, while you stand in a line somewhere. Think about them so many times that when a negative thought comes in, you have a ready stock of positive thoughts that can be used to pull one out at any moment.  Like a savings account that can be opened at any time money is needed to overcome a difficulty.

5. Use your imagination to help you.

Start small. Say or feel something nice about yourself every time you can. Remember this every time you criticize yourself. Every time you say or think something positive about yourself, try to visualize something that represents growth. Like see a new leaf appear on a plant or a page of a book being turned or a rainbow appearing in a rainy sky or a wave hitting a beach. This visual habit can make you remember that you do appreciate yourself more and more. Every time you say or feel something negative, put a coin into a box. If the box fills up, you need to donate the money to a good cause and then tell yourself how generous you are. You get it. You need to turn every opportunity to make something negative into something positive.

6. Start noticing and noting when things work out for you.

You will see the more positive you think, you will be less stressed and less angry. You will find that your child's behaviour changes towards you. You will get along better with your spouse or your parents. Going to work, if difficult, will be more bearable. Everything that's working out for you needs to be talked about. Tell your family that you notice that your days are better. If alone, write down what's changing. Invest in planting the seeds of change in your daily life.

#beyourownfriend #memybestfriend #knowingoneself #investinme #grounding #clarity #positivethoughts #positivity

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Meet multifaceted Daniel Vaz- Head Coach Nike India Run Club, trainer, marathoner and Aerospace Engineer

Discovering India to discovering herself - Carla Ide, language teacher, adventurer and traveller

Dressed for Onam

 

What is Empowerment? The internet says empowerment is the process of gaining freedom, authority and confidence to control one's life, make decisions and achieve goals. It involves increasing personal or collective strength, enabling individuals to overcome powerlessness, claim rights and influence change.

This is the word I thought of when I interviewed the highly adventurous Carla Ide. Carla has worn so many hats till date that it's difficult to fit her into any box.

A woman who has travelled a lot, learnt a lot and discovered herself a lot on these travels is what one can describe her as, I guess. I met her through a friend's friend and was delighted to find that she was an Indophile. I found her process of discovering India, my motherland, very interesting.

Carla tells me that one of her friends who is a school teacher once asked her new class what they admired in others? The teacher friend then told the students that she admires this friend of her own called Carla who symbolizes courage to her. Someone doing all the things she wouldn't dare do. Get on a plane and travel alone to places to discover the world.

That's exactly the energy I got when I spoke to Carla. A soft and smiling face that thrives on talks about spirituality and eyes that show me how open minded she is. Carla says that she knows women her age who invest in property and making a life with a man and she chooses to invest in herself to grow as a person and find her way in this world.

    

Her love for the East began when she started taking meditation classes in Bruges, Belgium. This practice got her to be part of a group who planned to travel to Ladakh in 2023. The trip would be organised in a way where the participants had to hike in altitude through trails for 6 days and camp every night. The hiking was something Carla wasn't good at, but her meditation practice was at its peak. The energy of the mountains, the group that she was with and the new people she met helped her get through each day of hiking. She started seeing signs when she fatigued, like a butterfly stopping next to her when she sat down for a rest. Those days of hiking and those evenings of camping with people who meditated in a group when the sun was setting in the Himalayas and the culmination of the trip at the monastery represent for Carla a coming-home sort of feeling. She felt herself coming into her power as a grown woman both physically and mentally. She found India eye opening. She realised that there was so much more to discover in India. The love of India grew there.

She asked others who were interested to travel with her to Manali as she met some locals who spoke about that area.  On that trip to Manali she saw local traditional women with nose-rings on both nostrils and was majorly inspired to do the same. She then got her two nose-piercings on her return to Belgium. 

      

Traditional women in Manali 

Nose piercing session back home

Those travels made Carla realise that she needed a change in her life. She decided to apply for a 1-year tourist visa and travel India but in the process of doing so, one of her friends told her of an opportunity to teach Dutch in Cochin. This job involved preparing qualified nurses to travel to Belgium with enough Dutch to allow them to study for one year in a Dutch speaking university with internships at the local Dutch speaking hospitals. Belgium has a lack of qualified medical staff and the non-profit organization Chinta v.z.w, Aurora project (https://chinta.be/nl) has been getting nurses to come work from India and elsewhere.

Since her mother and sister are both nurses, Carla felt this was an opportunity custom-made for her. She knew she would enjoy teaching the women who would be future nurses in Belgium while actually living in India and discovering it closer than before. She would be in the South of India and she had no experience of the culture there. The people she met were heartwarming; they appreciated her job as it was the 5th year of the training program in the region. The stay and working area were all very close to the Lourdes hospital which was used as the base for the trainings. The hospital provides the hostel where classes take place and students stay during the Dutch classes. The school in Gent, Belgium also does one month internship there with nursing students from Belgium. They are partners of Chinta v.z.w and organize the stay for the visiting language teachers. These nurses are selected by ODPEC (Overseas Development and Employment Promotion Council) from hospitals all over India, if they get through all the selection processes.

While in her previous travel she felt like a tourist, this time she was enjoying the feeling of being as local as possible. The women she taught were very friendly and very hard working. They practically had no time as they learnt Dutch for 6 days a week and had to keep at it for 6 months. Carla and her colleagues contacted people in Belgium who have a certain level of Dutch to help the students practice on some Saturdays and I'm happy to say that I participated in the practice sessions myself. It was fun for me to see these women from Kerala, the land of my parents talking to me in the land where I currently live. Carla is happy to confirm that the women are now in Belgium and are have started the academic year since they have a good level of the language to follow classes organized by ZOWE Brugge, which is a specialized nursing school offering training to become a certified graduate nurse. They are also employed during the training, some in hospitals, some at retirement homes.

sitting cross-legged on the floor for Sadhya

   

Pookalam for Onam

With her students

Kathakali dancers

Carla remembers her six months in Kerala with a warm heart. She visited a local temple festival where the energy was great. She was witness to a celebration for Lord  Vishnu and she also participated in Onam. She really celebrated making the Pookalam (decoration with flowers) and saw the enthusiasm of the local home owners to win the competition for the best Pookalam. She partook of the traditional feast or Sadhya and dressed in a traditional Kerala saree and danced with her students. She played games with the women and they all felt that they were young girls again. She commends the hospitality with which she was treated everywhere as she met some extended families of her students when she travelled in local areas. They all insisted she visit their home and partake in a meal with the family.

In the land of Ayurveda, she knew that her attachment to India was only getting stronger. When the students arrived at Brussels airport in a freezing cold and dark climate in January, Carla did her best to welcome them with her warm smile at the airport. She felt that the two cultures now are interwoven like in the making of a beautiful blanket. Keep reading the blog to know more about Carla and her adventures which I hope to feature here.

You can follow Carla on Instagram on this handle https://www.instagram.com/carla_ide/

Below are some small fun videos that Carla shared with me.

 

#femaletraveller #indiatravels #traveltoindia #indiannurses #lifeinbelgium #belgianinindia #carlaide

#chintavzw

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