We always live life hoping that it's a succession of good events and happy moments. Comfort is present in many of our lives. So, let's face it, the moment there is trouble to deal with or change that is unwanted, we are challenged. When we add injury and severe repercussions from that injury to our lives, then getting back on our feet and on our paths is literally and more so figuratively very difficult. I have a story of my friend Johan De Vits to share with us today.
One cold winter afternoon on 6th of January 2013 , long before I even knew him, Johan was driving home with his 18-month daughter. He was on a side road that had a speed limit of 70km/hr. It was a road that had a solid line drawn in between and only one car could drive in either direction. Everyone sticks to their side of the road. That's what Johan was doing too. Until his daughter who was in her baby seat just behind his seat started crying. He turned around for what may have been a fraction of a second or slightly more and crash! He had driven head on into the car driving at a similar speed from the opposite side. The head on collision was loud and bad. His airbag deployed and he found himself in a car wreck that he knew he caused. He got out of the car and the person in the car behind him turned out to be someone he knew. Someone from the houses around must have already called the emergency services. In the meantime he checked on his daughter and the family in the other car.
On quick inspection the lady in the passenger seat of the other car seemed to be injured and everyone else was just shaken up badly by what had happened. His acquaintance helped him to check on his daughter and get him and everyone else to safety. Soon the ambulances from the nearby district reached and so did the fire department from another area. Both Johan and his daughter were immediately taken inside the paramedic vehicles and examined. Only then had he the time to notice that the part under his right wrist was very badly injured. His daughter who had been in her car seat on impact had a huge black eye as she had been holding a book in her hand when the accident took place. It was very disconcerting to see a toddler with such a large injury on her face. The lady in the other car had shoulder pain. The ambulances wanted to take each victim separately depending on the emergency services they would require to be given. However Johan insisted on staying with his daughter and no one could convince him to send his little daughter off in one ambulance while he went in another. Some discussion ensued between the fire department and the ambulance service, and both Johan and his daughter were then taken to what was deemed to be the best choice in hospitals for the kind of injuries that they both had incurred.
Johan's family reached the hospital sometime later. His partner then was pregnant with their second child and she arrived at the hospital accompanied by her mother. His father arrived shortly after. They knew that the doctors were trying to convince Johan to go to get his operation done asap as he was the one with the worst injuries. He refused and hung around with his family until the doctors told him finally that his daughter was not in danger. Her face had broken just under the eye, but there was nothing that could be done in her case except wait for the injury to heal by itself.
It was only then Johan agreed to be operated on and he says that things moved very fast from that point onwards. The surgeon first put a metal brace into his arm to hold everything together. A part of the brace was placed externally on his arm. He had another operation 3 or 4 days later where more metal was put into his right hand. He spent 2 weeks in hospital with his arm fractured and his right knee slightly affected. His daughter stayed in the hospital for 3-4 days. After he was discharged, the physiotherapy started. The pain was unbearable as the injury had touched several raw nerves with the operation resulting in severe pain for months on end. He asked for stronger medication to cope with the pain. His fingers and hand were swollen and wouldn't move. For the next six months he went back to the hospital at least once a week.
His daughter was all okay, except the black eye that was still present on her face. She went back to daycare a couple of weeks after the accident. Johan was on sick leave for the next 9 months. During this period, he tried to go out once to meet his friends. This was sometime in March. Belgium is very cold during this month and the cold hit his nerves super quick and he quickly came back home. So, for some part of the first months after the accident, life for him was both traumatic and very limited. Seeing his daughter's injured face caused him extreme mental anguish. He couldn't do much with his right arm and hand and had to learn to use his left hand for every task of life. He had to get through daily tasks overcoming the pain in his body, and noticing little to no progress in the mobility of his hand and fingers. Every appointment with the surgeon was a 'when will I notice change and when will I stop having pain?' Every appointment with the physio meant overcoming pain and hoping to see any progress. He found himself putting on weight which was not unusual for he had been a very busy man up until the accident. His job had required him to be physically active the whole day and three times a week he was the trainer for an adult football team. He describes the months post the accident as being very close to what he imagines being depressed must be like. Bleak and stagnant.
After some months, the doctors re-operated on him to remove the arm brace and the metal in his hand. The knowledge that his family had another child coming into their lives soon acted as an impetus to get better. It was only by the end of May that year that there was a change in his condition.. He saw and felt progress. He could finally move his fingers a bit. Mentally, this changed everything for him. He saw that he wouldn't be an invalid all his life and things began to improve faster. Sure he still had pain but it was slightly less. He needed to start driving again as he knew he would need to cater to his growing family and look after his daughter while his partner would be busy with the newborn. Of course this was scary but exciting. When his son was born in the middle of June, he was driving again. At this point Johan felt that changes came at a comet speed into his life. Presenting their new baby to friends and family gave him the opportunity to start socializing once again. He knew now that he was going to be alright as he could see he'd made several steps to getting his life back on track.
In September that year, Johan went back to work. For two weeks, he worked half time and then took on his full time position. His colleagues had thought that he wouldn't be back for a long time and were more than surprised to see him. He had put on a lot of weight and moving about was difficult but he was moving and that's what mattered. Johan had been a football player all his life with regular training and games and two years before the accident he'd had a knee surgery. The doctors back then had said he would never run and that's why he had transitioned to being a trainer for adult footballers. He needed to be in the sport that he was always passionate about and good at. Not training the adults was definitely something he missed and he wanted to get back to that quickly and be good at. He went to meet a dietician and started a new way of eating. His reintegration into the team at work along with the diet, helped him start shedding the excess weight. Although he wasn't at his best, he started training the team again in the same month of September 2013 shortly after starting to work. He started feeling better and getting more confident due to all the activity and the weight loss. One day he decided to buy running shoes that didn't cost too much money in case his knee reacted badly and he started running again. He ran short distances and at a very slow pace. He noticed that the running didn't result in any pain and so he ran some more. By the end of the football season, he played in the team for a couple of matches. This was at the end of football season in April 2014.
When the new football season started in September 2014, now around 30 kilos lighter, Johan stopped being a trainer for the adult team and started playing again in an amateur football team. He was now 36 years old and was the oldest player on board the team. He is still playing now at nearly 46. They train once a week and there is a game every weekend. Johan says the important aspect for him is that he always wanted to be busy whether at work or on the field. He knows that someday he will have to probably stop playing football or move to a veteran's club, but right now he has good fun playing with young men he coached when they were kids. Funnily, he had also played football with many of the fathers of his team mates.
Luckily no one involved in the accident was scarred for life. Johan's daughter is fine and doing well and as far as he knows so is the woman who was hurt in the accident. Looking at him or through dialogue with him, one would never know what he has been through. It was a situation that tested him to the fullest. He still drives and chooses to take the wheel rather than sit in the passenger seat. For me, he's an example of how willpower, necessity and the drive for life and living fully can overcome the biggest hurdles.
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