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| The zest of life with everything in Harmony |
In my large extended family, as a young girl, I rarely got to see all the family. Some lived in Kerala and many members of the family had shifted to Mumbai in search of jobs. So, I saw cousins and aunts and uncles once in a while, except those who lived in the vicinity. One aunt (my father’s younger brother’s wife) in particular was different from all of us. Sure, she was also Malayali speaking and traditional like everyone in our family, but her presence was felt if you shared space with her. Sarlammai carried herself differently, spoke differently and connected differently. Someone once told me she was the Kashmir ki kali ( Young Sharmila Tagore) in our family. And I see what they meant. She is still a strikingly beautiful woman and if you have ever seen Sharmila Tagore and what she portrays in her movies, you'll know what I mean. I guess what Sharmila has and what Sarlammai possesses too is a grace that one cannot learn. You either have it or you don't. She moves with the air of someone with a true inner peace.
This is the sentiment I have about Sarlammai who is always dressed well and everything she wears suits her extremely well. Just now as I'm writing this, I remember seeing her collection of glass bangles as a tiny child and being stunned because no one I knew had so many bangles or even cared for such things. I laughed when I received the photo from Swapna as you can see she still rocks her bangles.
Swapna, her daughter or Bob as some know her possesses something too that few have in them. An abundant joy for life. If Swapna is around, you can be sure, you will be hearing jokes and puns and pun intended jokes galore. Any family function has a teary-eyed Swapna, not from crying, but from having cracked a joke and finding it funny enough to be brought to tears herself. Everyone around is laughing from the joke and also from the vibrant energy that Swapna delivers them with, the perfect chuckle, the expressive eyes and the amusement exciting her even before she gives away the plot. I don't know Swapna a lot because we hardly ever interacted due to being in different cities all our lives, but I still feel super connected to this girl because of the joy she emanates.
I asked Swapna some questions about her mother to celebrate Mother's Day as a family globally and help connect the dots for all the future generations in our family. Swapna describes in length how from a young age she's been observing her mother who was always a proud homemaker. Taking care of the home and its people kept her busy. Sarla possessed super organizational skills and possesses till date an eye for detail. She had methods to get young Swapna to pick up after herself and put everything that she was responsible for back in its rightful place. Today Swapna has spent her life caring for her own home and says proudly that she learnt all the necessary skills from her mother. She finds her mother perfect and she feels happy that she has at least 75 percent of her mother's qualities in her. A home science degree acquired while living at home, one could say.
What I admire about both these women is that they both are super happy with the lives they lead. They don't seem to feel that they missed their purpose in any way by not having a job or a career. I tip my hat to their husbands who allowed them to feel secure all through their lives to not have to think differently either. So for all you homemakers out there, you rock! I'm also a daughter of one and many in our generation are.
What I think we can learn from them both is to live life to the fullest, with presence, eyes open and curious and specially looking for good and hearts big enough to be laughing our days away.
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If you liked this one, you can read the two previous ones here or some of my works on my mother over the years below.
Mother's Day family compilation- tribute 1 - Latha on Ammini Warrior
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