These lines are from my almost 19-year-old daughter Sanaya about me. They cover qualities and irritations and aspirations.
"The early, happy memories that come to mind most about my mom would be when we used to go to the children’s playground or parks and just walk, play games and spend time together.
My mom is very affectionate and needs us to express our love physically. Like she’s the type to not let us leave the house if we haven’t kissed her. On some days she may ask for hugs or to cuddle on the sofa. She’s also very focused and persistent like when she wanted to lose weight, she completely changed her mind set and her whole lifestyle to get the results she wanted. She always gets what she sets out for herself. She’s very empathetic, like when I make a mistake or when I used to be up to some mischief, even though she gets mad she most likely would understand where I come from and didn’t act as if I was crazy.
One of the most irritating things about her when we were children, not anymore, was she used to get really, really, really mad at us when we, me and my sister, lost something. Even though I think it was a bit too much the way she would get mad, today I never lose anything. In my friends’ groups, I am among the most careful with my things and am now always ensuring that everybody has their things with them as we move around. I guess I have my mom to thank for this.
I definitely don’t feel the same about my mother now versus five years back as I was 14 then. With my mom we had our ups and downs and there were those periods of time when it was difficult for us to get along because both of us were entering different and difficult phases of our lives. I realise my mom and I are poles apart and yet so similar in the not so good side of who we are, so it used to amplify any argument.
If I could give my mom a new skill, I think it’d be an emotional regulator because I think it’s anyway, something anyone could use to be happier. I think that she and I are both extremely sensitive. At some point in our relationship, I felt that we could have gotten through things more easily if she wouldn’t take things so personally. She would usually get stuck on something I had said earlier. I feel that if she were able to develop this skill it’d help us go much further in the relationship we share."
When I read what Sanaya has written and what her older cousins have written I see perspectives change with time & experience and both mother & daughter getting older. I shall redo a similar inquiry in some years and check what she thinks then. For me, having my daughters and seeing who they are becoming is the biggest blessing. No one teaches us how to be a mother. It comes from instinct and what we've seen at home growing up. We all want to be the 'safe place' for our children.
Most parents try to stop their children from pitfalls that they've experienced themselves.
This ends the Mother tribute series with the family. I hope you all enjoyed what you read and in turn have thought about your parents or loved ones.
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